Work is...WORK!
Why is it that no one told me that one must know many things before entering the world of work with women? Working with "stereotypical" males (whatever that means), I have become accustomed to a climate of men, many different kinds of them in fact. Men who think about women all the time, men who think about women some of the time, and then men who think about men, which was rare, but did occur on occasion. Not only did men participate in conversation about women but they had the ability to converse about other interesting topics – sports, politics, weather, construction, etc.-- emphatically believing that this was the world to which I truly belonged. But then the unforeseen happened. 1997 - I got promoted by a man in August and then in December, demoted by a woman, a very small woman who apparently saw little value in me as an employee. It’s so peculiar how one can be so valued as an employee, deserving not only a promotion but a considerable raise in salary and then to be equaled to a speck of dirt, inconsequential to my profession, my department, and my workplace. It was at that point my experiences with women in the workforce began. Thinking that my association with women would only get better, I became enlightened very early, finding that either women did not like my type of woman, one who possessed the very attributes they possessed - confidence and the like -- or they simply didn't like me – the person. Although I’m not sure if I will ever learn the truth about why some people, mainly women in management, did not like me or like to work with me, I will have learned much about myself: who I am, what I want out of life, and what makes me tick. Okay, I don’t want to drag out the focus of this blog or try to astonish one with answers to these revelations, for I have none, but one point to ponder does roll from my tongue:
I really don't want to spend my life thinking or talking negatively about others- men or women. Life is too short to spend so much time wasting time, generalizing about the nature of women in the workforce versus men, as I've experienced it so long ago. And navigating from one thought to another attempting to escape from this forte of endless negative thinking about a former workplace experience, I HAVE worked at letting go – taking with me my pride, among other things. So I did, in fact, move on! The promotion of positive thinking continually encircles me, and I refuse to allow others to invade and desecrate my spirit. This bubble that I have created has become interesting; I can only breathe in and out- listening to my heart ring out, a hoisted spirit that is found in translation of hopes and dreams that have not been met…yet. For this power of positive emotions will not be lost-deeming that the concrete contrast between what I’m currently doing and what I want to be doing is not that distant. One must relate such emotions by moving oneself in the direction of truth and belongingness, creating a draft of pleasantness that will invite only pleasure, regardless of the cost. Reaching for what it righteous is an actualization goal that will prove to be life altering. I am only in search of me. And besides, that unfortunate employment incident was many years ago and I have found a renewed sense of accomplishment and an understanding, after having since experienced a great female boss. I realize that those few negative situations were just unique and unfortunate, leaving me now with no room to generalize about management of the female sex, as I do know better. And most importantly, I've learned what not to do as a manager from the bad ones and what to do from the good ones. Experience is good, a key factor in knowing and understanding.
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